...I'm SORRY.

So I know I promised to post every week...

I failed.

I know.

But so much has happened since I last posted:
I went to the beach.
My best friend had the sweetest baby boy God ever put on this earth.
I turned 19.
My boyfriend turned 20.
I went to Sea World, twice.
My childhood ended with the last Harry Potter movie EVER.
I've been working full time with kids with special needs.
I lost my close friend and grandfather, Pa.

Oma and Pa died within four months of each other. He was so unhappy without her. And if I knew my Oma, she was not going to rest until she got him up there. I mean, look at them. Aren't they just the most adorable people you've ever seen?

 

It still seems so unreal. I mean, I thought this Christmas Eve would be hard enough with Oma not being in the house in Killeen, but now, neither of them will be. Pa was such a huge presence in my life, but I still can't believe that he's gone...
He always bought me dark chocolate peanut M&Ms, and when going through the house after the funeral, I found a package in the freezer. I cried. A lot.
I miss his stories about army life, about Germany, about moving around all the time when my mom and my uncle were kids, about my Oma's family.
I miss his threatening to push me in the pool.
I miss his threatening to cut off anything that happened to ail me that day.
I miss his teasing me all the time.
I miss his hugs.
I miss it all.
All the time. But I know how happy he is to be square dancing in Heaven with my Oma, right where he always wanted to be, by her side and with Jesus.

On a lighter note, Mr. Levi Douglas Burkman entered the world on June 10 at a whopping 8 lbs., 14 oz. He really is the cutest baby you've ever seen. Isn't he?!

(This is where you say, "Why, yes. Yes, he is.")

I still can't believe that she's a mommy, either. I mean, it seems like just yesterday that we were all playing house outside...and I was the dog. Or that we were at my house all going crazy at my 8th birthday sleepover party. (Remember that, Jess?)

I've noticed that with all my emotions going haywire since my Pa's death that my perfectionism is a little out of control. Like, I'll freak out if things don't go exactly according to how I planned it.  But, with the help of this awesome guy...

...I've been able to keep my head on straight. Seth helps me know that, even when everything could go wrong, to take it one step at a time and to enjoy being in the moment with him. He makes me feel beautiful, both on the outside and on the inside. He makes me want to be a better Christian, a better girlfriend, a better daughter, a better person.

I think I'm in love.


:)