The Double Standard

Today I read a chapter from a book about "The Hook-Up Culture." The author of the book mentions what most know as the "double standard" of our society, in which a woman can either be seen as stuck up for not having sex with someone, or she can be seen as loose or easy for going all the way. There's no way she can win. I've experienced this double standard, even in my small town of 700 people.

This point is especially illustrated in one of my favorite movies, "The Breakfast Club," when Allison, the so-called basket case of the five in detention, says to Claire, the beauty queen,

It's kind of a double-edged sword, isn't it? ...Well, if you say you haven't [had sex], you're a prude. If you say you have, you're a slut. It's a trap.

After being badgered about the state of her virginity, Claire finally yells in frustration that she has never had sex, but is so humiliated to the point of tears. Why does society treat women this way? There's no way we can win, unless we surround ourselves with people who share our values.

For a personal example, in high school I was viewed as loose by my then-boyfriend's mom because his sister caught us kissing on the couch. At the same time, I was also viewed as "no fun" because I dressed modestly (meaning nothing was all hanging out) and wasn't into the party scene. However, I was okay because I knew who I was and knew I had not compromised my values.

And maybe that's what today's women need to keep in mind -- don't compromise your values or your conscience for anyone...that's a bad place to be. Trust me.