This article made me so angry.
Now, I have nothing against women who want to keep their maiden name or hypenate names, or whatever they want to do. That's not up to me. However, I wouldn't want to keep my maiden name when I get married. I want to take my husband's name.
I can't really explain why -- it's just something I've always known I would do. And it's not like I would never have my maiden name ever again. But I would be merging my name with that of the person I'm going to spend the rest of my life with, and that's just not something I'm willing to NOT do.
The reason this article infuriated me is the way Ms. Roiphe made it sound like only an uneducated woman takes on the name of her husband. I am not uneducated! And I fully intend to take on the name of my husband when I get married! This kept cropping up in her article:
But for this educated, vocal segment of the population [the 10% that keep their maiden name], the thorny question of what to do with one's maiden name persists.Or:
...the number of college-educated women in their 30s keeping their name has dropped from 23 percent in 1990 to 17 percent in 2000.And this equally infuriating paragraph:
This one made me mad because she just generalizes all women who change their names as uneducated but really wanting to keep their old name but not willing to cut through all the red tape.
[Mothers] are not inspired to [change their name] out of a nostalgic affection for tradition, or some cozy idea of family, or anything so charged or esoteric; they do it because giving in to bureaucratic pressures is easier than clinging to their old identity.
I can't even speak right now.
*headdesk*
Yikes! Take heart, Beth. True, Roiphe is noting that there are differences in the average levels of educational attainment between women who choose to change their names at marriage and those who don't. But I don't think she means to imply that it's a matter of intelligence--that women with less education are "too dumb" to keep their own names. Research on marital naming conventions suggests that it probably has to do with professional identity. If you establish a professional identity (like, in a profession that requires many years of schooling), it's likely that your pre-marriage name is attached to the work you are known for. That would be a reason to keep your maiden name.
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