Barry Schwartz. Choice paralysis. The state of having so many choices that one is unable to make a choice.
Have I experienced this?
Only ALL THE TIME.
I'm terrible at making choices. Even with something as small as where to eat with my boyfriend on date night. I can't choose! I can't just pick a place out of the air! He has to narrow it down to three places and, usually, I can choose from there. And when we are at the restaurant I can never decide on what I want to eat, unless I've been there a couple of times before and then I'll just get the same thing again and again. I'm even worse when it comes to movies. I'm terrible at picking movies, too. Seth usually has to narrow them down to three, also, before I can decide, and even then I usually have difficulty.
It's really kind of sad.
So how does this relate to marriage and the family? Well, a woman has a lot more choices now with respect to whom she will potentially marry. This can be good or bad -- she can now hold out for that 8 or 10, or she will be so bogged down with the anxiety of meeting new people that she just freezes and doesn't do anything...doesn't ever make a choice.
Maybe Lori Gottlieb had a point -- just settle down now and avoid all those choices later.
Or maybe...just maybe...someone will come along, and you won't have to choose.
You'll know.
I had the oddest dream about getting married last night but I almost said no at the alter. I think my psyche is reflecting how much I want that "you'll know" relationship but that I am seriously not ready to be married. And if I did get married soon, it would be to the wrong person, for the wrong reasons, simply because I want that relationship. Thanks for this post; I get so impatient but I know God has a plan for me.
ReplyDeleteAlso, the dream will make a great book someday. :)